The Ripple Effect of Gratitude
I've wrestled with an enduring sense of powerlessness and melancholy throughout my life. Therapy sessions became a familiar backdrop from my middle school years onwards, and I even ventured into the realm of becoming a therapist myself. Personal growth wasn't just a hobby; it was my daily bread - podcasts for breakfast, self-help books for lunch, and peer-reviewed articles for dinner. Yet, amidst this relentless pursuit, a nagging question persisted: Why didn't I feel any better? Despite advocating self-care and healthy habits to others, I struggled to practice what I preached.
Each new year brought resolutions that fizzled out within a month or two. I pledged to be kinder to myself until the inevitable stumble. I committed to daily gratitude until a lousy day clouded my perspective. I embarked on fitness routines until a missed session derailed my efforts. Invariably, I found solace in the familiar embrace of powerlessness and gloom. This was my narrative, a journey where everything seemed futile, akin to chiseling away at a glacier of troubles.
Yet, amidst this darkness, a glimmer of hope emerged - the practice of gratitude. While intellectually aware of its scientific benefits like increased positive outlook, decreased levels of depression and anxiety, correlation with better physical health outcomes, and more, I initially dismissed the notion that jotting down three things I'm thankful for each day could alter the trajectory of my life.
Nevertheless, desperation spurred me to try, and with the support of accountability partners, I embarked on a journey of transformation. Recognizing that my struggle was shared, I enlisted my closest friends in this odyssey of personal development. Thus, on January 22, 2023, our "personal growth group chat" was born.
Each time I missed a day while my friends remained consistent, I felt the weight of my absence. Yet, delving into their entries reminded me of my commitment and deepened our bond. It was a rare glimpse into the minutiae of their daily life, illuminating the simple joys that often go unnoticed. As someone who cherishes social connection, I felt that this window into their lives brought a sense of closeness I didn't know was missing.
My contributions to the chat initially revolved around the expected - the conventional blessings of family, shelter, and sustenance. But gradually, my perspective shifted. I found myself celebrating the small wonders: the comforting warmth of morning coffee and a stranger's kindness in the rush hour hustle. These authentic expressions of gratitude nurtured mindfulness, anchoring me in the present moment and amplifying my appreciation for life's fleeting pleasures.
With time, my entries evolved from mere sentences to heartfelt paragraphs, each infused with the essence of why a particular moment brought me joy. Reflecting on the more profound significance of these experiences elevated my gratitude to a soulful level, enriching my journey in ways I never imagined. And now, as I reflect on over a year of shared exploration with my friends, I marvel at the profound transformations wrought by a simple practice. In this journey, I've gained more than I could have ever imagined:
I experienced a heightened sense of connection and gratitude within my circle of friends.
Monitoring my daily moods through a free app named How We Feel since embarking on this journey revealed a significant shift (See below image). In January 2023, the majority of my emotions skewed towards low-energy unpleasant feelings, followed by low-energy pleasant feelings, high-energy unpleasant emotions, and high-energy pleasant experiences (Image A). However, after a year and three months, the landscape had transformed. Now, low-energy pleasant emotions topped the chart at 42%, with low-energy and unpleasant emotions following at 29%. High-energy pleasant emotions constituted 19%, while high-energy unpleasant emotions trailed at 10% (Image B). This transformation departs from the presence of powerlessness and sadness that once dominated my emotional landscape.
This seemingly small habit cascaded into other positive changes. Collaborating with my friends, we initiated mini-challenges to complement our gratitude practice. From abstaining from late-night eating to limiting social media usage and incorporating exercise, we leveraged our group dynamics to monitor and enhance our progress.
Embracing the adage, "If you want to go fast, go alone; if you want to go far, go together," has become a guiding principle in my life. Through firsthand experience, I've witnessed the transformative power of social support. While this wasn't my first attempt at maintaining a gratitude list, it marked the first time I succeeded in sustaining it long-term.
At last, my relationship with myself has blossomed. I now have confidence in my ability to keep the promises I make to myself, and I perceive myself through a lens of positivity.
Today, I stand as a testament to the potency of gratitude and the transformative power of tiny habits. This journey, once dismissed as insignificant, has left an indelible mark on my being. Through this post, I express my deep gratitude to my dear friends Shaylee and Tina, whose unwavering support and camaraderie have propelled me towards a brighter tomorrow.
July B. in the middle surrounded by her friends Shaylee and Tina in 2018.
Written By: July Bayasgalan